


Final Words

by Fayth_Delarosa



Series: The Greatest Knight to Serve - Haurchefant [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Count Edmont is good dad, Feels, Genderless Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Haurchefant Greystone Angst, Haurchefant is still dead, I probably hate myself, I'm so sorry, My First AO3 Post, My First Work in This Fandom, My feelings are drowning, Not Beta Read, Other, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers, What are Tags?, Why Did I Write This?, its like two lines that count as shadowbringers content, my grammar is atrocious, not really - Freeform, you can stop reading the tags now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 14:43:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21357922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fayth_Delarosa/pseuds/Fayth_Delarosa
Summary: You’ve led a harsh journey, and during a small window of respite, you decide you will finally lay it all bare.
Relationships: Haurchefant Greystone/Warrior of Light
Series: The Greatest Knight to Serve - Haurchefant [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1561267
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	Final Words

**Author's Note:**

> I wanna first start off by saying I am BY NO MEANS a talented author or writer. I actually have not written a piece of fanfiction in years (possibly since 2013?) God, I’m old

The snowfall had begun to slow down in its intensity as the cloaked figure slowly made their ascent up to the ruins at Providence Point. The scars of the Dragonsong War, something that felt so new yet also felt like a lifetime ago…

Although the snow had begun to let up, the wind instead decided to pick up in intensity, sweeping up the freshly fallen snow from the ground and creating swirls of white around you. The force of the wind proved too strong, pushing your hood away to reveal your eyes and hair; now exposed to the biting chill in the air. Still, you continued forward, no longer bothering to try and fix the hood once more. Your hands busy holding onto the single item you had on you, aside from your weapon, with an almost trembling intensity, a single objective in mind.

Finally, you reached your destination, slowing your steps down as you draw closer to the cliffs edge. You exhale, your breath coming out as a puff of steam in the chilling breeze that dissipates as quickly as it is formed. Slowly, you lower yourself down to your knees; the sound of your armor underneath the cloak creaking as you do so. Your hands clutching at the arrangement of flowers as your eyes gaze straight at the stone before you. The monument was the same as the first day you came, clearly it was being well maintained. Tataru informed you that since your departure to the first, not much time had passed in the source; something you had been grateful for. Although the Exarch assured you of such, it was nice to have another confirm it as well.

“I often wonder how you would react, if I told you all of the recent news,” you said to no one in particular. Anyone who would have seen you would probably think you mad. But you were unfazed; as you had a remarkable propensity to only be vocal when by yourself, or only with certain people, and remaining silent otherwise; with only brief nods or shakes as your response. _Except with him_, your mind reminded you; brief memories of laughter and playful banter filling your mind; reminding you of different times, of simpler times. “Would you try to stop me? Or would you have tried to find a way to cross over yourself? You always did manage to catch me off-guard with your choices…” you trailed off, looking down at the flowers in your hands before slowly setting them down, atop the patch of untouched snow in front of the stone.

You felt the lump forming in your throat, as well as the tell-tale sting of tears threatening to break free but you held fast, looking up at the sky as you took several deep breaths, trying to calm down the frantic beating of your heart.

“It never gets easier,” you chuckled to yourself, “but I remember your words, and I try to keep smiling” you ended in a whisper. Your eyes still felt strangely wet, the sting still very much present, but your heart had slowed and your body was able to keep itself upright, instead of crumpling to the ground as you used to do. This time, you were a little stronger, hardened by the various battles and events since that tragic day. You had to be; you were the Warrior of Light of the realm and now the Warrior of Darkness of the first, you could not afford to show frailty…you could not afford weakness.

But here, in front of him, you could be vulnerable once more. You could speak your deepest fears, your secrets, your dreams, only to him.

_“Three of you escaped the sundering. But what of those who didn't...?”_

_“Why, their very beings were divided into fourteen, of course…”_

The words from Emet-Selch briefly echoed in your traitorous mind, and you wondered if somewhere, somehow, on another world, if there was another him out there. The notion seemed so foreign, yet at the same time so tantalizing. Would you be able to meet? Would he remember? What life would he lead in that other world? Would it be possible to see him, to bring him here?

You shook your head of such thoughts and resigned yourself to the only truth. He was _gone_ and there is no fragment in all the worlds that could replace him.

“Look at me, contemplating the same thoughts that led Hades down his path. You would be disappointed, if you could see me now,” you whispered to the air.

Slowly, a pair of arms encircled you from behind, your breath hitched as a familiar smell entered your nose, the unmistakable aroma of firewood and hot chocolate; the beverage he would always have available to you whenever you would visit him, knowing that you preferred that over mead, _always knowing_. You stopped a sob from escaping you, but could not stop the shudder that racked your body. You hadn’t felt this presence since Nidhogg’s defeat, where he came to your aid in rescuing Estinien.

“Is it really you?” you whispered, the last word cracking at the end with all the emotions you felt. Sadness, pain, despair, hope…

You felt a pair of lips near your ear and could _feel_ him smile against you.

“I miss you…” you confessed, “I wish you were still here…there are so many things that if I could…”

**_“Hush,” _**he whispered, **_“I’m here.”_**

This time, the sob did escape and you felt your body tremble more than what could be attributed to the cold air. You weren’t sure if you could trust this moment as being real, or if your mind has finally decided to break you and take what little was left of your sanity.

As if sensing where your thoughts were headed, he responded, **_“I’m here. I have always been right here with you,”_** he followed that with what felt like a kiss to your cheek, the feeling so _real_ yet at the same time not, **_“I will always be here.”_**

You could no longer hold the tears back, the heat of them a biting contrast to the cold around you. “I wish you were _alive_, what I wouldn’t give to- “

**_“Don’t,”_** he replied, cutting you off before you could finish, **_“I did what I had to do…to save you.”_**

“But what about you?!” you screamed, “Why did you have to pay the price for my reckless actions?! I didn’t see, I couldn’t sense it! It should have been me! I should have been the one to die that day…I-I didn’t have the chance– I wasn’t able to tell you…” you couldn’t finish. You could barely speak now as the sobbing increased in its intensity. All the feelings that you’ve held back, so much pain, so much _loss_, bottled up with no escape; now finding its release in this moment. Such frustration and sorrow that you could never show, not to the people, not to the scions, no one. No one could see this side of you, only he could. He was the only one who would see past your empty smiles, past the façade you would put up in front of everyone.

**_“Your role is one that is greater than I; and I would happily give my life a thousand times if it meant saving yours.”_** He replied back, tightening his hold on you, keeping you upright and steady when you could easily let your body fall.

“But I didn’t want you to!” you screamed, “I wanted you to live! I wanted us to –“  
  


**_“I know,”_** he replied, **_“sometimes the things we want are not the things that are best in the grand scheme of things,”_** you felt him take a deep breath, if that was even possible for him to do, before continuing, **_“I am happy to continue beside you on your journey. To watch your adventures, to watch you grow stronger and overcome all the obstacles before you…I am content knowing that you will live and that you can make a happy life. That will be my greatest joy.”_**

You wanted to turn around, but his arms kept their hold, and so you sighed, trying to let your emotions pass. The seconds gave way to minutes as you both stayed there in absolute silence. That was one of the things you loved, that the silence between you both would always be comfortable. While other people would grow awkward around your silence, he accepted it, he accepted you.

“I didn’t ask for this path…I didn’t want this pain,” you whispered, “I didn’t want to lose you…. What good is being the Warrior of Light, the savior of the realm, if I cannot protect the people I care for; if I could not protect you, if I could not _save_ you,” you ended in a choked whisper; your voice hoarse from your earlier screams.

His hold on you disappeared momentarily, and you looked up, seeing the all too familiar strands of silver and eyes of deep blue. He was more real than not, only a little translucent as if to remind you that he was not really there; that there was no physical body there. He gently placed his hand under your chin, keeping your gaze locked onto his. And you could see the turmoil of emotions rolling through him, so much so that they began to overwhelm you. He felt…

Sorrow for what could have been.

Grief for leaving you behind.

Sadness for seeing you cry.

But the emotion you saw that wrenched at your soul, the emotion that echoed your own in its intensity, its need to be known, in its need to finally be said…

Longing for you.

_Love._

You stayed still, studying every detail of him, committing it to memory; watching the emotions pass through in his eyes. You hadn’t had the opportunity to voice it, those feelings that you’ve long held; nurtured over time through both his brash declarations and his subtle insinuations. It was almost comical to you, what at first seemed so awkward became so endearing. While you were not the type to opening express yourself; he had no trouble with declaring his devotion to you and his admiration of you. By the time you finally felt like you would be able to put words to what you’ve long held, it was too late.

“If I could have changed things…” you started, struggling to let out the words without succumbing again to the pain that seared your heart and soul, “If I could go back, I would say so much to you. I wouldn’t have stayed in silence. I would have done anything for you to live.” You whispered, taking deep measured breaths to keep your heart calm.

He watched you, his eyes seemingly lost in thought, his mouth in a thin line, something that you recognized he would do when he was unsure of his next words. **“I do not regret the choice I made. And I do not wish for you to live this way; I would have you live free of pain. Because,” **he paused then, taking his time with the last remaining words, **“In saving one, you would save none.”**

The words echoed harshly in your mind. The same words that you heard from the Exarch, in the vision that the echo showed you where he and Urianger spoke of his plan of sacrifice…

_Always sacrifice_

You hated it, you hated watching others sacrifice themselves for you. So many lost, yet so many that can yet be saved. “I will make it better,” you whispered, “I will make it so no one else has to sacrifice themselves.” You held his gaze then, swallowing down the lump that was forming in your throat, “I will make it so no one has to feel the loss of the person they love.”

The words hung between the two of you; a spoken vow, a vocal confession. It was the most that you were able to manage at the moment, and you prayed that it would be enough.

He studied your expression, his gaze piercing you and you were afraid that maybe he did not get the meaning behind your words. You opened your mouth in a panicked attempted to try and salvage the moment before it became uncomfortable but you felt him lift his finger to your lips, silencing you. Curiously, you looked at him and tilted your head, waiting for whatever it was that he would do. Slowly, you saw a smile spread across his face, the biggest one you’ve ever seen; if that were even possible. And you began to mirror his smile with your own. Having the words finally let out, although not a bold and brash declaration of love that you were sure he would have given you, it still felt freeing. You could almost feel the floodgates within your heart open, pouring out all of the feelings and words that you often associated with his name.

Exasperation, surprise, shock, fluster, happiness, laughter…

Love.

You loved him. And you would carry those feelings with you always.

You felt more than saw him learn into you, your foreheads touching, if that were even a thing that was possible. Again, you both feel into a comfortable silence, with only the sounds of the wind swirling around you. The snow had long since stopped, and you began to feel warmth; although you couldn’t be sure whether it was from the sun finally emerging behinds the endless sea of clouds above you or from this moment shared with him. He began to lean closer, taking your face in his hands, and you felt a brush against your lips, hesitant, soft, but there. You let out a small, shaky breath, tears streaming down your face. This day, this time, this place, will forever be seared into your heart and mind. Because it was finally out there, your feelings as well as his. You let out a small chuckle, “not exactly the way I had planned going about doing this sort of thing.” You whispered.

**“I would have it no other way,”** he replied softly before again pressing his lips to yours. This time, it felt more prominent, more urgent. A need from him to show you as well as you to him. A brief moment where there was only the two of you, and your emotions for the other, laid out to each other. **“I will wait for you,”** he whispered against your lips, **“I will always be ever by your side, my love. My hero.”**

You pulled apart from him then, greedily committing him to memory once again, “Always, Haurchefant,” you affirmed, a small smile showing.

The crunch of boots upon snow walking towards you was what alerted you to a presence before you heard a familiar voice, “Apologies, I did not know that you would be heading here after leaving Ishgard.”

You turned around, seeing the familiar frame of Count Edmont walking towards you, his cane in hand as he made the final steps to reach you. You quickly looked back to where Haurchefant was, only to find him gone. Before you could process the loss of him again, Count Edmont spoke up, “I see you’ve come to visit my son. I thank you for always stopping by, no matter what.”

He began the process of kneeling and you quickly stood up to assist him, taking his cane and setting it aside while you supported his weight as he slowly kneeled before the stone. You quickly kneeled beside him and you both stayed that way for a few moments. “You know,” Count Edmont began, grabbing your attention before continuing, “he would be very proud of what you’ve done.”

“Yes,” you said with a small laugh, “he would probably ask that I regale him with the tale countless times over, and that I spare no details.”

“Well, he was ever a curious child. He never did grow out of this habit,” Count Edmont replied, “but his curiosity would always double when it came to you.” He turned his gaze towards you at the end and you did the same, your mouth slightly open as your brain processed his words. “He loved you, you know. Could never stop singing praises for you. It even began to grate upon some of the people in our home; myself included.” Before you could utter an apology, he continued, “When you’ve been in war all your life, things like love and hope appear to be almost foreign. They are there, but they are ever shadowed by the looming threat of loss, it can be easy to become numb to it all. But he,” Count Edmont turned his gaze back to the stone, “he never relented. Even in the darkest of days, he ever sought to look at the light. And once you showed up at his door, well, it seemed almost as if he radiated those feelings of hope and love.”

You stayed silent, unsure of what you could even say after what Count Edmont just told you.

“Eventually, his happiness began to stir something within me. While I was always more open and inclined to believe that we would be able to end the war compared to the other houses; his feelings augmented mine own. I would like to think,” he paused, shifting his body slightly towards you. He lifted his hand and you felt his thumb swipe across your cheek, drying your tears, “I would like to think that he would be happy, knowing that you are alive and well.”

You bowed your head, unable to continue facing Count Edmont. You picked up the sounds of him shifting back towards the stone. “When I said that you are part of my family, it was not out of some sense of pity.” You heard him pause then, and take a deep breath, “You became part of my family the moment I realized how deep his feelings for you were. And because I knew how happy you made him, even if you remained as friends, I wanted you to continue to be there for him. As I could not.”

“I…,” you stopped briefly as you considered your words before continuing, “I do not know what would have been; but I do know of what I feel now. His feelings…would have been returned.” You ended, feeling the heat of a blush beginning on your face.

You heard a hearty laugh then, and turned to stare incredulously at Count Edmond. “F-forgive me,” he said, struggling between bouts of laughter, “I just, full glad am I to hear that my son’s feelings were not unrequited”

Your pursed your lips in embarrassment and indignation. You were not used to openly expressing yourself, much less your feelings, and you felt conflicted as to how you should respond. So instead, you opted to remain silent and eventually the sounds of laughter began to die down giving way to silence once more.

“I would think that, were he here, he would be overjoyed to here that.” Count Edmont said, “he would probably sweep you right off your feet, with no regard for decorum, and whisk you away,” he ended with a chuckle. “I am overjoyed to know that you feel the same. And I thank you for sharing, I realize that it may be a difficult thing to confess; especially to his father,” he smiled, giving you the sense that he was poking fun at your flustered expression.

“I would have punched him if he tried,” you muttered half-heartedly. It would have probably been true back then. Before, while he would be open and vocal, you were more quiet and reserved. You never knew how to respond to him, he always seemed to know what buttons to push.

“Well, that certainly would be a novel way to reply to a declaration of love,” he conceded. Count Edmont grabbed his cane from where it laid beside him and used it as a crutch to lift himself back up. Once he was standing, he extended his hand out to you. You took his hand, aware that he would struggle to lift you and instead tried to keep as much weight off of him as possible as you stood up. Then Count Edmont offered you his arm, and you shyly looped your arm around his elbow.

“Let us go home,” he said. “I would regale you with some tales of Haurchefant’s youth; as I do not believe he would openly share such riveting tales; especially the more amusing ones.” He ended, and you noted that there was a twinkle of humor and mischief in his eyes.

You shook your head in exasperation, clearly Haurchefant took after his father more than he realized. Then you slowly registered his words. _Home. _You smiled then, and looked back up at him, “lets.”

As you two both began the decent back down, heading towards Ishgard you began to process everything. Without realizing it, the man you loved gave you so much more than you had even known were possible. Aside from the feelings that he inspired in you, he also gave you motivation, the drive to continue onwards; even in the face of insurmountable odds and obstacles. He gave you happiness, even at your lowest and darkest hour; when your fellow Scions were in hiding after the disaster in Ul’dah. He gave you a refuge…he gave you a home and a family to return to.

“I’m certain he knows, by the way.” Count Edmont said softly, “I’m certain he’s aware of your feelings and I’m certain that he would be happy to see you live on; for two of you.”

“Yes,” you replied, sparing a brief glance at the tombstone, a genuine smile on your lips once more,

“I know he does.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ya’ll, THIS WAS OVER 7 PAGES.  
I don’t remember typing so much since my graduate years writing up 60-page research proposals as a final project D:  
Before you ask, it wasn’t THAT long ago >.>  
But I digress, I hope ya’ll enjoyed! And I appreciate constructive feedback but please be nice. I am a salty healer so I don’t need any more sodium in my system XD  
And for anyone curious, this is my WoL: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/6223347/


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